September32014
Beagle Life. It’s rough here at the Singing Beagle Ranch… #beagle #beaglelife #beagleaddict #beaglecattledog #rescuedogs #dogsofinstagram  (at the Singing Beagle Ranch)

Beagle Life. It’s rough here at the Singing Beagle Ranch… #beagle #beaglelife #beagleaddict #beaglecattledog #rescuedogs #dogsofinstagram (at the Singing Beagle Ranch)

August172014
Mia and her momma. #boxer #boxermastif #boxernation #boxeraddict #ilovemydog #rescue  (at the Singing Beagle Ranch)

Mia and her momma. #boxer #boxermastif #boxernation #boxeraddict #ilovemydog #rescue (at the Singing Beagle Ranch)

August82014
“You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.” (via bratsquad)

(via corinnajune)

July272014
A total disgrace! notice the boxer mom sticker, this car was left in the parking lot with two boxers and a small terrier for 30 min while I searched for the stupid ass left them there. 😡 85 degrees out #boxer  #boxernation  #beagleaddict #ilovemydog #rescue #rescuedogs

A total disgrace! notice the boxer mom sticker, this car was left in the parking lot with two boxers and a small terrier for 30 min while I searched for the stupid ass left them there. 😡 85 degrees out #boxer #boxernation #beagleaddict #ilovemydog #rescue #rescuedogs

July222014
Beautiful tears of joy, regret or happiness?

Beautiful tears of joy, regret or happiness?

(Source: mydarkenedeyes, via past)

October42012

journey through hell

when I was going through my hardest chemo I felt like they were killing me. All I could do was stare through my glassy eyes and endure the hell. I couldn’t escape it, I couldn’t die. I would breathe and think of my field of daisies and throw up and sleep and freeze and sweat and lose weight from not eating until days and weeks and weeks went by and one day I woke up and looked around and thought ” no shit, I made it.” Everyone going through hell has a day when their trip ends. I hope yours is quicker than my last one was. You don’t even have to have faith if you haven’t the strength for that - thats the beauty of it. You just have to show up. That is the secret…

12AM

religion or cancer?

somedays when I feel that I’m winning

I’m surviving

but I fear

can I handle this?

this new reality that cancer has carved out for me?

I have to refocus on my original goal

to live though this nasty triple negative cancer attack

oh no!I forgot to mention my desire for some basic needs

of which I cry in desperation for now… but it worries me

will the God of cancer hear me and revoke my reprieve?

I think I will just choke down my meds and raise my hands and continue to give thanks

His wrath scares me more than the pain

I finally understand the beginning of religion.

12AM
On 10.04.11 I had my last chemo and Joe and Sophie headed to get this tatoo in my honor. Soph’s design. This was 5 months after they both shaved their heads when my hair fell out. I must have done something right to deserve those two. My heart and soul <3

On 10.04.11 I had my last chemo and Joe and Sophie headed to get this tatoo in my honor. Soph’s design. This was 5 months after they both shaved their heads when my hair fell out. I must have done something right to deserve those two. My heart and soul <3

12AM

a la carte

I remember waiting to go in for my appt with my breast surgeon when she would talk us about my cancers pathology. I had spent the 40 minute drive to her office talking like I was coked out from nervousness and

I said to Kirk  ”worse case scenario will be triple negative with my genetics test coming back BRCA 1+” It’s like universe served me up my biggest nightmare that day- like I ordered it off of a menu.

August302012
Angels in the cemetery&#8230;

Angels in the cemetery…

August32012
May242012
full circle

full circle

9AM

full circle

Years ago I had started ritual that I needed to get over my phobia of flying. It helped me— and now I feel that its come full circle because it once was a deep fear of death that caused my anxiety and now I have an peaceful acceptance of it. 

On Sunday afternoon, I was sitting in my seat on a plane headed to see my aunt who was sick enough for me to be flying on mothers day so clearly I was scared and had death on my mind. I closed my eyes as the plane sped up for take off in Houston and the strangest thing happened. The way that it banked and the light shined into the cabin and onto my face as my eyes were closed seemed familiar. I had been close to my higher being before. This experience felt strangely similar in its peacefulness as the one I’d had in the O.R. last year when I nearly died from blood loss.

My takeoff ritual is to flashback to every amazing moment I can think of, as fast as I can. My parents when they were young, my brother and I playing marbles, the faces of old lovers, friends from childhood, my vw golf, my fathers hands in his shop, Kirk on our wedding day, my dogs, my cats, joes smile, sophies hugs, jacks eyes, the sound of their laughter and the images keep coming so fast once you ask them to - they are limitless…

Then the next moment I’m flying and fear has passed. My thought on Sunday was an epiphany of sorts as I realized that if God took me I was ready the same as I thought last year. I fight to stay here (you know I have) because I want MORE  time with my loves but if I had to leave - wow- I’ve had so much beauty! We should strive for that peace. So as the warmth of the sun moved over my face I had nothing but joy and gratitude for a life already filled with all I have ever wanted. 

L

8AM

I’ve been kissed by her, I believe the emotion I had was one of gratitude and resignation… 


The kiss of death.

This astonishing sculpture forms part of Barcelona’s Poblenou Cemetery.  The Kiss of Death (El Petó de la Mort in Catalan and El beso de la muerte in Spanish) dates back to 1930. A winged skeleton bestows a kiss on the lips of a handsome young man: is it ecstasy on his face or resignation? Little wonder the sculpture elicits strong and varying responses from whoever gazes upon it.

(via nutellabiddy32)

May102012
oh no. and here I&#8217;ve been suppressing the very thing that I fight so hard to be!

oh no. and here I’ve been suppressing the very thing that I fight so hard to be!

(Source: inspirationsforlife, via brighterdaysarehere)

← Older entries Page 1 of 7